My Top 10 Masturbation Scenes in Film

With International Masturbation Month coming to a close, I thought I’d end May with a list of 10 of my favorite instances of cinematic self-love. Do you think I missed a classic masturbation scene? Let me know in the comments!

Fast Times at Ridgemont High

This classic scene starring Phoebe Cates in a bright red bikini has been burned into the psyche of every teenage boy to ever watch this movie, so who can blame Judge Rienhold for jerking off to it in the bathroom?

Slackers

Hey, Laura Prepon – You may be a weirdo Scientologist, but you didn’t let an unwelcome visit get between you and your battery-powered lover, and for that we salute you!

Black Swan

Natalie Portman flicking the bean in thin white cotton undies. Need I say more?

The To Do List

I’m not sure how many people actually saw The To Do List, but there’s a scene where star Aubrey Plaza does the two finger taco tango, and everyone really seems to like Aubrey Plaza, so here you go.

There’s Something About Mary

What happens after Ben Stiller’s character decided to “unload his gun” in the bathroom before his date with Mary is the most well-known part of the entire movie, and probably why I couldn’t find a clip of the masturbation scene online.

Pleasantville

In which Joan Allen learns that a round of “fingerpainting” in the bathtub can add some color to her otherwise grey world.

American Beauty

I love this scene because Kevin Spacey’s character and I both share a certain affinity to masturbation slang.

The Exorcist

Let Jesus fuck you!!! It may be more gross-out than turn-on, but who can forget the image of a possessed Linda Blair dildoing herself with a crucifix!

Mulholland Drive

You may not have been able to understand the story, but Naomi Watts masturbating while crying is pretty of straightforward… kind of?

American Pie

This movie features more than one masturbation scene but Jason Biggs fucking a warm apple pie has to be the most memorable of them all!

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